Reflections

This week has been such a busy one, but such a wonderful week at that. The Lord is so gracious and truly His mercies are new every morning.

It started on Monday, with a phonecall. A phonecall I had been wishing and hoping for for weeks, even months! Out of the many (many!!) people I had called, and voicemails I had left, someone finally responded to my message and called me back. She listened patiently while I explained the story of my OB/GYN care (no room for me on the Army post, no OB/GYN's in a 35 mile radius who would see me and deliver VBAC's, and the current 2 hour drive to a University hospital that offers VBAC's). She listened without interruption. She took notes and phone numbers.

Then this kind-hearted soul, Miss Jeffries, pulled all the strings (the same ones that I had been trying to pull but was unsuccessful), made many phone calls (the same ones I had tried making but came up empty handed), and then called me a second time to tell me that everything had been arranged for me to deliver our baby at the Army hospital just minutes away. Room had come available, or had been made available, and finally someone understood that there was NO reason for me to drive 2 hours for appts and delivery if they can treat me locally.

When I had been feeling like all the closed doors were showing me to trust the Lord and continue with the 2 hour drive for medical care... a door opened and God showed me his mercy and love in yet another way. I have my first appt next week to confirm the details and am praying that it all goes smoothly.


My week progressed rapidly (hence not sharing this delightful news with you all sooner): grocery shopping, bible study/PWOC, meals for new moms, story hour, errands, lunch play dates with moms & kids, coffee with a friend, emails from old friends, baby news from others, homemade french onion soup, chicken piccata, and spicy chili... the list goes on, and you get the picture...


It's been a busy, wonderful week. And today, as my boy nap, dinner cooks in the crockpot, the snow falls, and I sit and type at the computer, I am so thankful and content for each moment and each day. Life, in all its business, and all its quietness, is such a gift. I marvel at where the Lord has brought me and all that He has done in my life, not just recently but in the years past.

Why do I doubt His love and provision? Why do I wonder, despair, or become anxious? Truly God is so faithful, he provides exceeding abundantly, above all we could ask or think. And He knows what's best. He knows how to answer our prayers. He knows how to provide for His people. He chastens. He disciplines. He purifies. He loves.

Piano man

Recently I started teaching the boys a few things on the piano. They have always loved tinkering away on it, so why not show them a few notes and songs? The main one we've been working on is "The Middle C song." Isaiah does a great job finding the notes and singing the songs, but Joshua was much more uncertain. Until today.

Clearly satisfied with his own expertise, he started playing with his eyes closed!! I know I close my eyes on occasion when I really get into a particular piece (so that I can feel the music flow through me and to completely enjoy the beauty of the sound), but it still surprised me to see him do the same. Maybe Josh is onto something. :)

Joshua transposed the Middle C song into a different key ;)

Look at those big hands?!?!? My one year old could be the next Czerny!! (a less famous child prodigy who possessed an enormous stretch from small finger to thumb)

Maybe we'll have a house full of musicians. :)

While I was busy working in the kitchen, I heard music coming from the living room, turned around to see JOSHUA at the piano, playing away. And I'll tell you, he just went to TOWN!! He played and played and played. And I do mean played. Sure it wasn't a specific song, but it wasn't banging and pounding either. He carefully pressed individual notes, with individual fingers, as though inspecting the sound to see what and how he liked it best. It was so sweet!

I overheard...

my 3 year old exclaim to my 1 year old, "You are just TIRING me out!!" (as though that were even possible)

I laughed. These kids are just too clever, and love to repeat choice phrases from their parents. Little copy cats. :)

But I admit, my laughter was mixed with a little guilt.

I know that I have been saying things like that more than normal lately and nothing gets by my little boys. If only my boys weren't so quick to catch on to everything!! Ach!! :) It certainly is humbling to have your kids notice your shortcomings so easily. They are truly instruments in my sanctification!!

But then... isn't that the goal? Sanctification, that is? So often I only think of their sanctification (and the disciplinary action required to direct them), but what about me? Isn't that the Lord's desire for me as well? To become more like Himself? to put off the old man and put on the new?

While it is humbling for my children to see my faults, it is also GOOD. They see me, at my best and at my worst. They know my weaknesses, my sinful tendencies, my flaws. They know my joys and triumphs. And really, isn't it a good thing to be shown your faults by people you love, to be convicted of sin, to bow down and pray, to ask for forgiveness and repent of the error of your ways?

Yes! Yes! Yes! Oh, to be more like my Savior!

Pictures

Along with a thoughtful letter, I received this picture in the mail from my grandparents last week. I thought it was such a clever picture! My grandma (Oma) taking pictures of the black bears on one of their many adventures.

My grandparents (Pake and Oma) have captured many amazing things with their camera's over the years. Usually it was Pake behind the lense of his incredible camera, but in recent years Oma has gone to town with her camera too. I wish I had copies so I could post the pictures they've taken of sunsets, wild animals, flower gardens, grandchildren... to name a few.

Some of my favorite pictures are from their world travels. My grandparents enjoy traveling and have quite literally been all over the world. (China & Africa are just a few that come to mind, but I'd venture to say that they have been to most of the 50 states, all over Canada and Europe, and wasn't there a trip to Antartica not so long ago, as well??). As they go, they enjoy the beauty of God's creation, take pictures, and journal about their travels.

As a little girl, I remember being amazed with all the places they'd been and all the pictures they'd taken. I loved when they would come visit and show slides of their travels on our living room wall. I still remember how much we looked forward to seeing their pictures... and the disappointment when we reached the last slide and the show was over!! :)

Pictures... what a wonderful way to capture moments and memories.

Watching for Dad

One of the boys latest pastimes is pushing their toy bins up to the front window, standing on their tip toes, and watching for anything exciting to happen. Sometimes they look at the neighbors, (hee hee!!) or at the snow falling, but today it was all about Daddy.

They spotted his car long before he was even close to the house and let out cheers of excitement and glee, "It's Daddy!!" "Daddy!!" They watched anxiously as Nick parked the car, gathered his things and then headed towards the front door. Daddy was home and boy were these boys glad to see him.

Daddy was pretty excited to see his boys too. And who can doubt it, when you are greeted at the door with this kind of attention? May the days never end when our children delight in our presence!! How wonderful to be eagerly waited for; to hear their squeals of pleasure as you open the door; to be smothered with hugs and kisses; to be asked how your day was and to hear detailed stories about theirs...these childhood days are so precious.

On a cold winter day...

The winter weather continues. It hasn't been above freezing for several weeks now, and the last few nights we've had snow and wind chill temperatures 18-25 degrees BELOW zero. Brrrrrr is right!! I've never lived in such cold weather. The snow is so beautiful, but with the wind and lack of sunshine, you just can't take the kids outside to play in it.

So it seems, with the weather being so chilly, that we've spent a lot of time curling up, snuggling up, and reading books. And I can't say I mind. I treasure the times we sit with the boys on the couch, reading through a stack of books and explaining and pointing out interesting things as we turn the pages.

The boys love hearing the stories. Often they will shout, "Again!!" when we've completed reading the collection of chosen books. They also take off running to the book shelf to find another few favorites before the reader gets up off the couch. Yes, we could probably read all day.

A few favorites right now are, Blueberries for Sal, Flashing Fire Engines, The Little Engine that Could, Toes are to Tickle, and anything by Richard Scarry.

A year in review

I saw this idea on another friends blog (maybe some of you did too) and thought I'd try it out.

So yes, a year in review, this year has really taken our family all over the place, we've traveled, we've celebrated, we've welcomed home...

January--- We're half way through Nick's deployment to Iraq and I'm feeling nostalgic That and the boys are still boys and getting into TROUBLE

February---We pass our time just playing around

March & April---Not much blogging goes on...too busy keeping up with the boys I guess. On the flip side, we enjoy some of the best moments of our lives when Nick comes home on leave from Iraq

May---The Colorado sunshine comes out and we enjoy many days at the park

June--We start getting ready for Nick's homecoming, a big move and lots and lots of changes. And... what can I say, some days are just like this

July--I contemplate being lazy. Which is kind of ironic when I realize that we had just welcomed Nick home from Iraq, packed up our old house, moved into a new one, quit a job, said goodbye to everything familiar... oh and did I mention, becoming pregnant???

August--Family time begins as we settle into a new routine. Lots of family outings as we get acquainted with our new surroundings


September--My husband is amazing and appreciates me in a unique and thoughtful way. Boy, I love this man.

October-- A month full of day trips, amusing stories and pumpkins

November--We find out our next baby is a boy... and we smile at the thought

December-- I'm reminded of what little angels my boys are and how happy I am to be a mom!!

A good cry

Today I had my "this pregnancy is never going to be over" moment. I felt irritable. I insisted on a Starbucks run. I moped. I cried. I felt sorry for myself. I had a hot shower. I cried. And was consoled by the loving arms of my husband and kids. Then I cried some more just for good measure.

I felt:

• HUGE
• HEAVY
• and like the pregnancy is never going to be over

Now, I know the reality of it is:

• that I'm really not that big yet (people remark on this all the time. I have a long torso and fairly tight abdominals-- thank-you Pilates and kickboxing-- so I don't seem to show as much as the next person, despite the large size of my babies at birth).
• that I haven't gained an excessive amount of weight (26 weeks into the pregnancy and I'm up 17 lbs)
• and that the pregnancy will be over...

But my pregnant brain, pregnant hormones, and pregnant hips (oh how bad they ache as the "elastin" sinks in and loosens them up) tell me otherwise. So despite meditating on self control and praying for that attribute in myself and my children during my devotions this afternoon, I still lost it and had a good cry.

And, well, I can't say I'm sorry. It felt good. It was relieving. And now, as I sit here and type I feel the baby moving and squirming within me and think, "he's worth every moment of these 9 months!!"

A New Year

I've never been a fan of the "New Years Resolution" trend in which people try to turn their lives around at the start of the new year. As Christians, every day is a day for repentance, forgiveness and fresh starts!! Forget New Years Day, start right now!!

However, being such a goal oriented person (by this I mean, someone who loves challenges, to-do lists, and accomplishing tasks), I can never help but come up with a few new goals and challenges on the brink of another year. :) Ask me again in a few months (or even a few weeks) and I'll have re-evaluated and added to my list of goals and projects. My husband and I do this regularly when it comes to marriage, parenting and finances. It's a great practice to keep tabs on progress and success-- and of course it provides accountability too!!

So here you have it, my personal goals for the future. While this list is not exhaustive, it contains a few things that I will strive towards this year. These are my personal goals, not to include our financial/career, parenting, and marriage goals. Many of these tasks I already do regularly but know that I should do them even more regularly and with more heart than I do now.

1. Read more-- I'm challenging myself to a book a week. I know that is a bit unrealistic for an expentant mother with two busy little boys, but I'm going to aim high anyway. I have always loved reading and need the extra push to get going. Plus I'm hoping this will in turn cut down on the amount of time I waste on the computer and TV.
2. Practice/play the piano 90 minutes a week-- I had been fairly faithful with this one since our last move, but again have grown negligent in keeping up my skills. That... and the boys love "helping" me practice so its hard to have uninterrupted time on the piano.
3. Exercise 30 minutes a day, 5 days a week-- This I already do, but have been tempted as of late (with a growing pregnant belly and colder weather) to give up and just get fat!!
4. Read the Bible/pray daily-- this I attempt to do already as well, but definitely need a jump start on. I'm challenging myself to read the Bible in a year (something I haven't done for a while). We already do regular mom & kids devotions every morning at breakfast and family devotions every night at dinner, so its easy for me to skip out on doing them on my own. So this is for "just ME devotions"
5. Memorize Scripture-- My personal goal is a verse a week, however Nick and I just agreed to memorize the book of Galations together as well, so I'll probably have to increase my speed.
6. Complete a BIG household project a week-- this means something from my house project list that are beyond the day to day cleaning, like wiping down the walls, washing windows, or reorganizing the linen closet).
7. Scrapbook once a month--- I'm so far behind, I really need to scrapbook every day, but once a month is a good start.

There are a number of other little things that I could include (like learning to ballroom dance --Nick gave us dancing lessons for Christmas!!-- or doing preschool with BOTH boys) but I'll hold off on that lest the list get annoyingly long and impossible.

Happy New Year!!