Tuesday, January 5, 2010

A good cry

Today I had my "this pregnancy is never going to be over" moment. I felt irritable. I insisted on a Starbucks run. I moped. I cried. I felt sorry for myself. I had a hot shower. I cried. And was consoled by the loving arms of my husband and kids. Then I cried some more just for good measure.

I felt:
  • HUGE
  • and like the pregnancy is never going to be over

Now, I know the reality of it is:

  • that I'm really not that big yet (people remark on this all the time. I have a long torso and fairly tight abdominals-- thank-you Pilates and kickboxing-- so I don't seem to show as much as the next person, despite the large size of my babies at birth).
  • that I haven't gained an excessive amount of weight (26 weeks into the pregnancy and I'm up 17 lbs)
  • and that the pregnancy will be over...

But my pregnant brain, pregnant hormones, and pregnant hips (oh how bad they ache as the "elastin" sinks in and loosens them up) tell me otherwise. So despite meditating on self control and praying for that attribute in myself and my children during my devotions this afternoon, I still lost it and had a good cry.

And, well, I can't say I'm sorry. It felt good. It was relieving. And now, as I sit here and type I feel the baby moving and squirming within me and think, "he's worth every moment of these 9 months!!"


The Eskestrands said...

amen and amen. i had one of those 'this IS a big deal' moments the other day and cried and then laughed at myself later b/c really...it wasn't a big deal at all. those preggo hormones are awful, huh?! and don't worry, Easter will be here before we know it and so will our boys!

Rachael said...

I've been feeling that way a lot lately. I think I'm scared of the last trimester because I know how badly it went with Isaac. People keep commenting how big I am and then reply, "Oh, you're that far already." I know they don't mean to be hurtful but do they know how sensitive my emotions are at the moment? So I'm there with ya. But yeah, those baby movements (mine is QUITE the active little one) are precious and I know I'll miss them when this pregnancy is over.

Grandma said...

Being pregnant is indeed one of the most wondrous times in a woman's life despite the hormonal upheavals, the tiredness and the emotional challenges. How awesome it is to feel new life move within and to wait with expectation for the day you will finally meet your sweet baby. Treasure the days that God has given you to carry this little one. It won't be long until he arrives!


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