Today I'm wondering...
Why do I spend a majority of my time doing the things I need to do... instead of doing the things I like to do?
And more than that, why don't I long to do the things I need to do... instead of longing that they'd just be DONE ALREADY?!?!?!
In one sense, I know the answer. I do the things that need doing because that's what needs to be done!! (say that 3 times fast!) The laundry, the yard work, the cooking, the spanking... it all needs to be done... and more so, it's part of my job description!
And, of course, there are many many many things that I love about my job--like the satisfaction of completing a project, the snuggles of my sons as we sit and read books, the contentment and happiness in a clean house and a well-cooked (dare I add, "gourmet"?) meal.
But still, at times I struggle! Why don't I desire the things I should? Why is it a constant act of self denial to unload the dishwasher? I know that God has called me to do all things as unto Him, to serve others, to love my husband, to train my children... but... do I NEED to desire to scrub toilets in order to bring Him glory?
I suppose... I really do know the answer, as you probably do to, I'm just trying to avoid it, trying to pretend that its okay if I complain or begrudge or resent just a few household responsibilities. After all, I don't complain that often, and more importantly the job is getting done!!
Whoops! Does anyone else hear that? The "did God really say?" in that last paragraph? Yes. God really said. He really did command me and He really did create me to bring Him glory!!
Lord, give me strength and courage to wage war against my flesh; to live for you and not myself.