Before my very eyes

My “little” Noah is growing up before my very eyes. Each day it seems, he comes up with a new trick, a new word, and some sign of deepening cognitive development.

It’s such an exciting stage. And I love it.

The other day, I mentioned I needed to throw something away. Noah walked over, picked up the object, ran across the living room, into the kitchen, found the trash can, opened the lid, and popped it in. This kid can think! And this is more than following commands, this is actual discernment. At a one year olds level of course, but still. Smart kid.

Noah also found a cup in the bathroom and said, “Dink! Dink!” (drink) and then, holding my hand in his and the cup in the other, he led me into the kitchen, took me to the water dispenser in the fridge and repeated his brilliance “Dink! Dink!

So I guess I shouldn’t have been surprised when he pulled a fast one in the back yard the other day.

The boys and I were playing outside on the swings together. The older two lost interest (or maybe I stopped pushing them?) and began playing on the slide and the climbing rope. Noah wanted to join in too so I took him out of the swing. And then left them playing together in a group in the yard to run inside to make a picnic lunch.

I came back out and saw Isaiah and Josh still playing by the slide. And Noah? I couldn’t find him!! I quickly scanned the yard, and didn’t see him. I knew the backyard was fully fenced, so I wasn’t quite panicked… but still. I couldn’t find him.

But then… he found me. He spotted his Mama and shouted out a “Hey-yo!!” and then went back to work.

In my garden. With his backhoe and front end loader. That had been on the other side of the yard. I’ll tell ya, boys know their machines and they know where to find dirt. It doesn’t matter how old they are!!

Oh man, I love this kid!! He amazes me every day.

A doozy of a day

Yep it’s been a doozy

It’s my birthday today. I’ve been blessed with twenty nine years of wonderful life. And it’s been a great and wonderful and beautiful day.

Only it didn’t start that way. In fact, it started quite the opposite. Let me go back to this early (early early) this morning.

It’s 5am and I’m awakened by a piercing yell of my dear little Noah. At first I roll over and try to ignore. Wrapped up in a happy dream of beaches and waves on the shore. Maybe Nick will get up with him, I think. But then I realize that Nick’s not home. And not going to be home again for quite awhile. I feel sadness as the realization of his absence hits me. And even sadder as the yelling doesn’t stop for the room next door. And sadder still when I remember today is supposed to be a special day. It’s my birthday.

I stumble out of bed to check on Noah, soothe him back to sleep, and tip toe out of his room, just hoping that I’ll be able to catch a few more minutes of shut eye before my alarm goes off at 6.

But I can’t sleep. I want to, but I’m stuck in the tossing turning almost awake, but almost asleep state of unrestful rest. My one year old keeps squawking now and then too, so each time I drift off, I’m awoken again. Finally I just get up.

As Noah smacks away on his morning bottle, I pull out my bible and try to get a few moments of quiet devotion in before the other boys wake up. But I’m cranky now too. And struggling to be grateful and focused in my prayer and reading time. And before I really get anywhere with my reading, I hear the other two boys wake up and not two pleasant words were exchanged between them before the fighting began.

Sigh oh sigh sigh sigh.

It’s my birthday. Can’t we all just get along? And be happy all day?

Josh woke up on the wrong side of bed. He realized a toy wasn’t in his bed, and worse, he found it in Isaiah’s hands. Whining and fighting, followed by more fighting and whining. Josh cannot get it together. Every word from his mouth is filled with rebellion and contrariness. My sweet and tenderhearted boy struck with a case of Mr Grumpy’s. And the hardest part? Disciplining consistently and training kids to obey regardless of how they feel, to follow God’s commands whether we feel like it or not. Whether we miss daddy or not. Whether we got enough sleep or not. Whether we have the prized toy or not.

So while I’m dishing out discipline right and left, Noah is playing with my cell phone and calls far and distant friends in far and distant time zones, and I begin receiving worried phone calls from elderly friends and formers pastors, “I got 3 calls from your number early this morning, is every thing okay?? We’ve been worried”

Meanwhile, Isaiah dumps out several board games and all their pieces in his bed, and then while trying to recover a lost cherry from Hi-Ho-Cheerio, he rips a page of his favorite book and dissolved into traumatized tears.

And what do I do? Oh competent accomplished sophisticated mother that I am?

I just sit down on the floor and laugh. I laughed and laughed and laughed. The boys said, “Mom!?!?!? What are you laughing for?” and between guffaws and giggles, I say, “It’s either laughing or crying, Guys!!”

And it was. Cause oh boy, I could have cried up a storm. It’s my birthday and my husband just left. It’s my birthday and there’s no birthday greetings whispered in my ear first thing this morning. There are no birthday kisses left on my lips. And it’s Labor day, and there’s no special packages or cards or boxes waiting to be delivered by a mailman on a National holiday. No mail at all. No Fed Ex or UPS either. It’s my birthday, and my kids aren’t old enough to bake me a cake, or buy and wrap gifts. It’s my birthday. My 29th birthday.  My last birthday in my 20’s. Oh boy, it really really was LAUGH. Or CRY.

But I was able to laugh. God gave me the grace, the joy, the love, the patience… to laugh. To laugh at my boys. And life. And my situation. Oh and a merry heart makes good like medicine.

It was just what I needed too, because as we headed to the breakfast table, the meltdowns continued. Josh had to be excused from the table 3 times because he couldn’t keep it together (literally crying over spilled milk). I found myself waiting and wishing for Nick to call, knowing that he would try so hard to call on my birthday. Only to go grab my phone and realize that he had called. Twice.

AND MY SILLY PHONE WAS ON VIBRATE so I didn’t hear it and didn’t get it and totally missed my one opportunity to talk with my hubby.

Sigh. Major big-time. I shed a few tears over this one, I admit. Nuts!!

We finish breakfast and devotions and I load the dishes into the dishwasher, with my trusty Noah helper (and dishwasher unloader) by my side. And then I hear it. Gail's of glee from the back of the house. I head back to check on my boys, who had literally been left alone for 5 minutes, and find my bedroom door closed. Sigh.

I open the door to see two little naked boys jumping on my bed. “Where are your clothes?,” I ask. “We took them off, and put them in a pile, and then peed on them!!!” is the cheerful response.

And I laugh. I laugh so hard, so long, so purely and blissfully, I almost had to add my clothes to the pile of peed on laundry.

Oh what a morning. Not the birthday morning, I’d anticipated, but as my mom suggested, a very very memorable birthday in birthday history.

The rest of the day went (relatively) smoothly from there, and was filled with phonecalls and texts and emails and Facebook posts that delighted my heart all day. And as I was going down the grocery store aisles this afternoon, I wished out loud that Nick would be able to call again. No sooner had the words left my lips, when my phone rang. And it was Nick. And were able to talk for a few minutes before we hurried off to soccer practice.

Then tonight, a handful of girlfriends came over and cheered my spirits so completely, I can’t even express. We fellowshipped long and freely and enjoyably. And we ate birthday cake like crazy. I was showered with love and gifts and made to feel so special.

And here at the end of the day, I’m truly able to look back on the days events and praise God for every moment of it. And even more so, to remember the past twenty nine years that I’ve enjoyed and to say, God is good. The ups and downs, the joys and trials, the good, the bad, the ugly. God is good.

Oh my

Oh my.

Where to start?

It seems like I should begin with the FRG. That is, the Family Readiness Group that I am now leading. Oh my! The FRG consists of the Army family members in our Company and functions to provide them with information, resources, and support. I monitor rosters, organize fundraisers, plan events, attend meetings…and also have 150+ family members carrying my phone number as their “go to” person in case they need anything.

The phone number thing was, and has been, the scariest part. At a moments notice, I have to be prepared to answer questions, give directions, offer referrals, know resources, and calm anxious spirits. It’s nerve wracking, but I’ll be honest with you and say that I love it. Well… I hate it. But… I love it. It’s a great opportunity to serve others, and even better, a great chance to share the Light of the World with unbelievers. When will I ever have the opportunity again to be able to witness to such a large group of people who look to me personally for information and support?? Probably never. So I’m taking that thought and running with it. Especially on days when I hate it.

The other thing that gets me through is that I’m working for the best Company Commander in the Army. No joke. This guy is so good. Honest. Upright. Hardworking. Sensitive. Organized. God-fearing. Not to mention he’s Tall. Dark. And Handsome. Haha. It’s been a wonderful and enlightening experience to work for my man. I’ve come to admire him, and the work he does, to a whole new level. I’m glad to come along side him and to serve and support our soldiers—even if I get a few gray hairs as a result.

Speaking of gray hairs (no I don’t have any yet… I think!), I should probably mention that the week after I became FRG leader, I started homeschooling Isaiah. Isaiah is about to turn 5 and is in Kindergarten this year.  And since Joshua is just a year and a half behind Isaiah, and loves doing what Isaiah is doing… I guess I would pretty much say that Joshua started Kindergarten too. And Noah also for that matter. It’s been a week and a half of school, and WOW! It’s been amazing. Amazingly busy. But amazingly fun.

I didn’t anticipate it to be so much work, but I also didn’t anticipate enjoying it quite so much. For all those who say homeschooling Kindergarten is easy… I take my hat off to you. I’ve found that the Kindergarten year is very labor intensive. We move from subject to subject quickly to avoid meltdowns and distractions. I have to be alert and attentive every minute to keep Isaiah (and the other boys) on task and out of trouble. There is no putting out a work book page and leaving the area. If there is, it ends in re-sorting the school supply box and finding scissor marks on lots of different books. NOT COOL.

But it is fun. And Isaiah is learning so much. I haven’t quite figured out what to do with Noah, who wanders around pulling on my pant leg and begging for attention. But we are sailing merrily along.

Along the school vein, we just started a homeschool co-op group for 3-5 year olds at our church. I am co-leading/co-organizing the group and have loved the experience so far. We just had our first session this week, and the kids had an art, science, speech and music classes taught by various moms in the co-op. I’m teaching the music class and learning A LOT. Not just how to teach music to little ones, but also how amazing music really is. Anyone ever read up on the Mozart Effect? I’ve read about it in several different books now and am completely fascinated by it. That and the Suzuki method. Rediscovering my love for music, has brought me to play the piano again every day. I think the boys love it as much as I do. The other day, we were listening to a CD in the car, and they said, “MOM!! You play that one on the piano!!!” SCORE!

I suppose the last thing to mention is that we’re gearing up for another deployment. Obviously I can’t give details about where or when over the internet, but it’s coming up and it’s coming up fast… and I am treading water as best I can. And trusting God with my whole heart.

I’ve been taught and retaught that truly trusting God means relying on Him in all things, and also being thankful in all things. Accepting and trusting His providences, whether good or bad… and accepting and trusting them with a thankful heart. While it is not always easy to be thankful, it is good. There is so much joy in thankfulness, in finding thankfulness, in being able to say that the joy of the Lord is my strength. So here I am, when life overwhelms, when trials arise, when FRG’s are overwhelming, and homeschooling has me drinking a coffee again, when husbands follow their calling and bravely serve in the line of fire, still thankful. Still trusting. Still waiting. Still relying on our wonderful and powerful God who holds me under the shadow of his wings.

The joy of the Lord is my strength.

Boys will be boys

Boys will be boys… and not all family pictures will be perfect.

At least this photo will make me laugh for years to come.

Long and Busy

As we readied for bed last night, my husband and I discussed our long busy day. Meetings. Errands. Paperwork. Phone calls. Soccer Tryouts. Bible Study. Most of our days lately have been just that:

Long and Busy.

Though long and busy, it's still been a good long and busy. (At least my schedule has been. Nick's... not so much). But even days packed with wonderful things are physically draining by nightfall, aren't they?

So when my husband asked, "What does your day look like tomorrow, Dear?" I was so pleasantly surprised by my own answer.

I envisioned the family room calendar. In my minds eye, I saw it filled with events and sidebar notes, pencil markings and scribblings in different colors. I saw book club and babysitting co-op. I saw 1st day of school and soccer practice. I saw dinner parties and play dates. Dentist appointments and swim lessons. And then, I saw Tuesday, August 9th.

And it was empty. Completely empty. A beautiful blank nothingness stared me in the face. Really? Could it be? A schedule free day in the midst of all the hustle and bustle?

In a voice of awe and delight, I told my husband about my empty schedule.



And oh boy, it's been beautiful. We've stayed home all day. Not a single errand, appointment, or meeting.

I played with the boys. I laughed and tickled and chased.
I cleaned. Oh, I cleaned so much and so efficiently-- it was amazing! I cleaned the hard to reach places that I usually avoid. I washed behind toilets and under cabinets. I Windexed mirrors. I dusted!!
And I cooked. And oh my goodness I cooked all the homemade wonders that I haven't had the time to cook in forever. I made granola! Hummus! Pesto!
And I planned. I pulled out all the schooling books and got busy for August 22nd (1st day of school). I organized events, and emailed participants. The ironic part is that a lot of my planning, was scheduling!! but oh well. It still felt so good.

I needed this day so very badly.

Now if only my husband could get a day like this from time to time--for now he has to live vicariously through me. And since we're two hearts that beat as one, it just might work.